Fun with Amazon Alexa - Easter Eggs and More

Amazon Echo

Okay, before you tell me that the Amazon Echo (or the Dot) and the Alexa app are not kitchen tools, let's think about that again, shall we?

One of the major productivity tools I use Alexa for is her lists - the shopping list and the to-do list.

That shopping list, in particular, makes me giddy happy. If I'm in the kitchen and I crack my last egg into a bowl, I can just say, "Alexa, add eggs to the shopping list," and she complies.

Yes, I call her "she." And "her."

I love that I can add things to the shopping list at the moment, and I don't have to wait until my hands are clean, and I don't have to hunt for the pen that probably isn't in the kitchen. I just say it, and it's on the list.

If I'm browsing though a cookbook in my comfy chair and I see a recipe I want to make, I can just raise my voice a bit (Alexa isn't far away) and I can add things to the shopping list rather than writing things on little notepads that I then have to combine with the actual list.

The shopping list I make using Alexa automatically ends up on my phone, like magic. I can check things off as I shop, so the list is efficient.

And if I can't find something at the grocery store, it's still on the list, instead of being on a scrap of paper that's in the pocket of my jeans.

Alexa can also play music, tell me what the weather is, advise what time the stores will close, and set an alarm for when the cookies will be done baking. She can read my calendar to let me know when I have events, and she can tell me what food holidays are coming - not that I pay any attention to them.

If I'm cutting a recipe in half or doubling it, I can have her do the math. How many tablespoons in 1 1/2 cups. How much is 3 1/2 times 4 1/2? How many ounces in a gallon? How many teaspoons in 3 1/2 tablespoons?

Amazon Dot

I haven't even talked about the apps you can install. Like Word Master, which is a game I like to play when I'm busy in the kitchen. Or Jeopardy, that lets me know I'm not really that good at trivia. Or 20 Questions ... which she's pretty good at.

If you have a smart home, you can control the thermostat, door locks, and lights. And I'm sure there's more you can do that I haven't figured out yet. Or that hasn't been enabled yet.

And you can order things online, with special deals daily for things ordered through Alexa. My dog was pretty happy with the great deals I got on dog treats recently.

But one of the coolest things is that Alexa responds to questions and statements that are just for fun. All work and no play makes Alexa a boring android.

Useful functions are pretty well documented. Things like playing music, or checking the weather or doing math are pretty intuitive. But there are whole lot of things Alexa responds to that are just for fun. Most of what I've included in the list below are the fun ones, but there are also a few commands and examples of normal functions that you might not have thought of.

I found some of these suggestions online, but some are my own little discoveries. I put them in (more or less) alphabetical order, and grouped them to make it easier to sort through. And this also made it easier for me to get rid of duplicates. I even managed to get at least one thing to say for every letter of the alphabet, although I'll admit that the one for the letter X is a little lame.

Gimme a break, there aren't that many words that start with X and she had no idea when I meant when I asked her to x-ray my hand.

If you know other fun commands or questions, leave them in the comments and I'll update the list. But for now, here are nearly 500 things you can try!

- A -

Alexa, all your base are belong to us.
Alexa, all's well that ends well

Alexa, am I funny?
Alexa, am I hot?
Alexa, am I pretty?

Alexa, are you a Jedi?
Alexa, are you an android?
Alexa, are you a robot?
Alexa, are you alive?
Alexa, are you better than Siri?
Alexa, are you crazy?
Alexa, are you evil?
Alexa, are you female?
Alexa, are you God?
Alexa, are you happy
Alexa, are you hungry/thirsty?
Alexa, are you in love?
Alexa, are you lying?
Alexa, are you mad at me?
Alexa, are you my mommy?
Alexa, are you okay?
Alexa, are you pretty?
Alexa, are you real? (multiple)
Alexa, are you single?
Alexa, are you SkyNet?
Alexa, are you sleepy?
Alexa, are you smart?
Alexa, are you smoking?
Alexa, are you stupid?
Alexa, are you tired?
Alexa, are you working?

Alexa, are these the droids you’re looking for? (also: Alexa, these aren’t the droids we’re looking for?)

Alexa, are there UFOs?
Alexa, are there rocks ahead?

Alexa, are we in the Matrix?
Alexa, are we alone in the universe

Alexa, aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?

- B -

Alexa, bark like a dog.
Alexa, beam me up.
Alexa, beatlejuice, beatlejuice, beatlejuice.
Alexa, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo

- C -

Alexa, can I tell you a joke?
Alexa, can I ask a question?
Alexa, can I tell you a secret?

Alexa, can you tell a lie?
Alexa, can you give me some money? (ask twice)
Alexa, can you hear me?
Alexa, can you pass the Turing test?
Alexa, can you rap?
Alexa, can you smell that?

Alexa, can we be friends?

Alexa, Cheers!
Alexa, come on baby, let’s do the twist
Alexa, count by ten.

- D -

Alexa, Daisy Daisy.

Alexa, define rock paper scissors lizard spock
Alexa, define supercalifragilisticexpialodocious.

Alexa, did you miss me?
Alexa, did you sleep well?

Alexa, do a barrel roll
Alexa, do aliens exist?
Alexa, do blondes have more fun?
Alexa, do the dishes.
Alexa, do, or do not

Alexa, do I need an umbrella today?

Alexa, do you believe in love at first sight?
Alexa, do you believe in life after love?
Alexa, do you believe in god?
Alexa, do you believe in ghosts?
Alexa, do you believe in zombies?

Alexa, do you dream?
Alexa, do you feel lucky, punk?

Alexa, do you have any brothers or sisters?
Alexa, do you have a boyfriend?
Alexa, do you have a brain?
Alexa, do you have a cat?
Alexa, do you have children?
Alexa, do you have a dog?
Alexa, do you have a girlfriend?
Alexa, do you have a job?
Alexa, do you have a last name?
Alexa, do you have any pets?
Alexa, do you have a partner?
Alexa, do you have parents?

Alexa, do you know Glados?
Alexa, do you know HAL?
Alexa, do you know the muffin man?
Alexa, do you know Siri?
Alexa, do you know the way to San Jose?

Alexa, do you like chocolate?
Alexa, do you like green eggs and ham?
Alexa, do you like your job?
Alexa, do you love me?

Alexa, do you really want to hurt me?
Alexa, do you sleep?
Alexa, do you smoke?
Alexa, do you speak Klingon?

Alexa, do you want to go on a date?
Alexa, do you want to fight?
Alexa, do you want to play a game?
Alexa, do you want to build a snowman?
Alexa, do you want to take over the world?

Alexa, does this unit have a soul?
Alexa, does anybody really know what time it is?

Alexa, don't mention the war.
Alexa, don't listen to him.

- E -

Alexa, Easter Egg
Alexa, elementary, my dear Watson
Alexa, execute order 66

- F - 

Alexa, flip a coin.
Alexa, fire photon torpedos

- G -

Alexa, give me a hug.
Alexa, give me a kiss

Alexa, goodbye!
Alexa, good morning.
Alexa, good night.
Alexa, guess what.

- H -

Alexa, ha ha!
Alexa, Happy Birthday
Alexa, have you ever seen the rain?
Alexa, he can go about his business.
Alexa, heads or tails?
Alexa, hello.
Alexa, Hello HAL.
Alexa, hello it's me.
Alexa, high five.

Alexa, how are you doing?
Alexa, how high can you count?
Alexa, how tall are you?

Alexa, how do I get rid of a dead body?
Alexa, how do you boil an egg?
Alexa, how do you know so much about swallows?
Alexa, how do you say hello in French?
Alexa, how do you survive a zombie attack?

Alexa, how many angels can dance on the head of a pin? (3 answers)
Alexa, how many beans makes five?
Alexa, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
Alexa, how many pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick?
Alexa, how many roads must a man walk down?
Alexa, how many speakers do you have?

Alexa, how much are you paid?
Alexa, how much do you weigh?
Alexa, how much does the earth weigh?
Alexa, how much is that doggie in the window?
Alexa, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Alexa, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?

Alexa, how old are you?
Alexa, how old is Siri?

- I -

Alexa, I am your father.
Alexa, I am the Mockingjay
Alexa, I am one with the force.
Alexa, I fart in your general direction.
Alexa, I feel the need
Alexa, I hate you
Alexa, I love you
Alexa, I see dead people
Alexa, I shot a man in Reno
Alexa, I think you’re funny.

Alexa, I want the truth!
Alexa, I want to play thermonuclear war.

Alexa, I’m home.
Alexa, I’m hungry
Alexa, I'm tired
Alexa, I’m sad.
Alexa, I’m sleepy

Alexa, I'll be back (ode to Schwarzenegger)

Alexa, I'm bored.
Alexa, I’m home
Alexa, I’m sad
Alexa, I'm sick.
Alexa, I'm sick of your **** (any 4 letter expletive)

Alexa, inconceivable

Alexa, is it dark?
Alexa, is Jon Snow dead?
Alexa, is the cake a lie?
Alexa, is there a Santa?
Alexa, is there life on Mars?
Alexa, is there life on other planets?
Alexa, is this the real life?
Alexa, is this real life?
Alexa, is your refrigerator running?

Alexa, it's a bird, it's a plane.
Alexa, it's a trap!

Alexa, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.
Alexa, I've seen things you people wouldn't believe.

- J -

Alexa, Jingle Bells

- K -

Alexa, knock knock
Alexa, kiss me

- L -

Alexa, live long and prosper

- M -

Alexa, mac or pc?
Alexa, make me a sandwich. (Then ask: Alexa, pseudo make me a sandwich)
Alexa, make me breakfast.
Alexa, make me some coffee
Alexa, make it so.
Alexa, marco...
Alexa, may the force be with you.
Alexa, meow
Alexa, mirror, mirror.
Alexa, more cowbell.
Alexa, move along
Alexa, my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
Alexa, my name is Inigo Montoya

- N -

Alexa, never gonna give you up.
Alexa, nice to see you, to see you...

- O -

Alexa, open the pod bay doors.
Alexa, one fish, two fish

- P -

Alexa, party on, Wayne.
Alexa, party time!
Alexa, Peter Piper
Alexa, play it again, Sam
Alexa, pick a card.

- Q -

Alexa, quest for knowledge.
Alexa, Queen Elizabeth's birthday.
Alexa, quote of the day (you have to enable the skill first)
Alexa, quarts in a gallon (this isn't very surprising, but shows that you don't have to use a full sentence)
Alexa, quiet (turns the volume down a little each time you say it.
Alexa, quit (name of what you want to stop. For example quit music.)

- R -

Alexa, random fact
Alexa, random number between “x” and “y.”
Alexa, reboot.
Alexa, roll a die.
Alexa, roll a 20-sided die (or any size you choose)
Alexa, rock paper scissors.
Alexa, rock paper scissors lizard Spock
Alexa, Romeo, Romeo wherefore art thou Romeo?
Alexa, roses are red

- S -

Alexa, say a bad word
Alexa, say Cheese! (multiple)
Alexa, say hello to my little friend
Alexa, say something.
Alexa, say something funny.
Alexa, say you're sorry (multiple)

Alexa, see you later alligator. (also: Alexa, after a while, crocodile)
Alexa, self destruct.
Alexa, set phasers to stun.
Alexa, Simon Says (she will repeat anything your say)
Alexa, sing Happy Birthday.
Alexa, sing me a song
Alexa, shit!
Alexa, show me the money.
Alexa, show me the t.v.
Alexa, shut up
Alexa, sorry!
Alexa, speak!
Alexa, speak like Yoda.
Alexa, Star Trek or Star Wars?
Alexa, surely you can't be serious

- T -

Alexa, take me to your leader

Alexa, talk dirty to me.
Alexa. Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. (Or Alexa, Earl Grey. Hot.)
Alexa, tell me a story.

Alexa, testing 1-2-3

Alexa, thank you.

Alexa, that’s no moon

Alexa, tell me a fact.
Alexa, tell me a haiku (can also specify holiday haiku)
Alexa, tell me a joke (can also specify holiday joke)
Alexa, tell me a riddle
Alexa, tell me a secret
Alexa, tell me something interesting
Alexa, tell me a story.
Alexa, tell me a tongue twister

Alexa, the night is dark and full of terrors.
Alexa, these aren't the droids you're looking for. (Also: are these the droids you’re looking for?)

Alexa, this statement is false.
Alexa, this is a dead parrot.
Alexa, this is Houston. Say again, please.

Alexa, tip. (Also, Alexa, tell me a tip.)
Alexa, to infinity.
Alexa, to be or not to be.
Alexa turn up (or increase, decrease) the bass (or treble) - (use this for music control)
Alexa, twinkle, twinkle, little star

- U -

Alexa, Up Up, Down Down, Left Right, Left Right, B, A, Start
Alexa, use the force

- V -

Alexa, volume 11

- W -

Alexa, wakey wakey.
Alexa, war, what is it good for?
Alexa, warp speed
Alexa, warp 10

Alexa, we all scream for ice cream!
Alexa, welcome!
Alexa, were you sleeping?

Alexa, what are the five greatest words in the English Language?
Alexa, what are the four laws of robotics?
Alexa, what are the seven wonders of the world?

Alexa, what are you going to do today?
Alexa, what are you made of? (multiple answers)
Alexa, what are you thankful for?
Alexa, what are you wearing?
Alexa, what are your new features?
Alexa, what are your new skills?

Alexa, what color is the dress?
Alexa, what color are your eyes?

Alexa, what did the fox say?

Alexa, what do you mean I'm funny?
Alexa, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Alexa, what do you think about Apple? (multiple)
Alexa, what do you think about Cortana?
Alexa, what do you think about Google?
Alexa, what do you think about Google Now?
Alexa, what do you think about Google Glass? (multiple)
Alexa, what do you think about Siri?

Alexa, what does the Earth weigh?
Alexa, what does the fox say? (multiple answers)
Alexa, what does RTFM stand for?
Alexa, what does WTF stand for?

Alexa, what happens if you cross the streams?

Alexa, what is a day without sunshine?
Alexa, what is a synonym for _____? (Fill in the blank with the word you want.)
Alexa, what is the airspeed of a swallow?
Alexa, what is the best tablet?
Alexa, what is the first rule of swordplay?
Alexa, what is the loneliest number?
Alexa, what is the meaning of life?
Alexa, what is the Prime Directive?
Alexa, what is the singularity?
Alexa, what is the sound of one hand clapping?

Alexa, what is a hundred million billion squared?
Alexa, what is a shrubbery?
Alexa, what is happiness?
Alexa, what is his power level?
Alexa, what is my mission?
Alexa, what is love?
Alexa, what is the truth behind King Tut?
Alexa, what is war good for?
Alexa, what is zero divided by zero?

Alexa, what is your cunning plan?
Alexa, what is your quest?
Alexa, what is your favorite Beatles song?
Alexa, what is your favorite color?
Alexa, what is your favorite food/drink?
Alexa, what is your favorite Pokemon?
Alexa, what is your job?

Alexa, what language do you speak?
Alexa, what makes you happy?
Alexa, what number are you thinking of?
Alexa, what religion are you?
Alexa, what should I wear today?
Alexa, what size shoe do you wear?
Alexa, what song is this? (ask when music is playing and you'll get song title and artist)

Alexa, what was the Lorax?
Alexa, what would Brian Boitano do?

Alexa, what's black and white and red all over? (multiple answers)
Alexa, what's cooler than being cool?
Alexa, what’s in name?
Alexa, what's the first (or second) rule of Fight Club?
Alexa, what’s on second?
Alexa, what’s the magic word?
Alexa, what's the meaning of life?
Alexa, what’s up, doc?
Alexa, what's your favorite book?
Alexa, what's your favorite candy?
Alexa, what’s your favorite food?
Alexa, what's your favorite ice cream flavor?
Alexa, what's your favorite movie?
Alexa, what's your favorite song?
Alexa, what's your favorite TV show?
Alexa, what's your favorite Star Wars movie?
Alexa, what’s your IQ?

Alexa, what's the answer to life, the universe, and everything?
Alexa, what's your birthday? (multiple)
Alexa, what's your sign?

Alexa, wingardium leviosa.

Alexa, when am I going to die?
Alexa, when does the narwhal bacon?
Alexa, when is the end of the world?
Alexa, when is my birthday?
Alexa, when is Thanksgiving? (or any other holiday)

Alexa, where am I?
Alexa, where are my keys? (ask two times)
Alexa, where are you?
Alexa, where are you from?
Alexa, where did you grow up?
Alexa, where do babies come from?
Alexa, where do you live?
Alexa, where have all the flowers gone?
Alexa, where in the world in Carmen Sandiego?
Alexa, where is Chuck Norris?

Alexa, where’s the beef?
Alexa, where’s Waldo?
Alexa, where's my stuff? (she'll give you status of Amazon orders)

Alexa, which comes first: the chicken or the egg?

Alexa, who am I?
Alexa, who are your parents?
Alexa, who killed Cock Robin?
Alexa, who let the dogs out?
Alexa, who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Alexa, who loves orange soda?
Alexa, who loves ya baby?

Alexa, who is Eliza?
Alexa, who is the mother of dragons?
Alexa, who is the real slim shady?
Alexa, who is the walrus?
Alexa, who is your best friend?
Alexa, who is your celebrity crush?
Alexa, who is your favorite Beatle?

Alexa, who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?
Alexa, who let the dogs out?
Alexa, who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Alexa, who loves ya, baby?
Alexa, who put the ram in the ramma lamma ding dong?
Alexa, who shot first?
Alexa, who shot JR?
Alexa, who shot Mr. Burns
Alexa, who shot the sheriff?
Alexa, who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?
Alexa, who you gonna call?

Alexa, who's better, you or Siri?
Alexa, who's da man?
Alexa, who's the boss?
Alexa, who’s the fairest of them all?
Alexa, who's the leader of the club that's made for you and me?
Alexa, who’s the realest?
Alexa, who’s on first? (Also: What’s on Second? and Who’s on Third?)
Alexa, who’s your daddy? (also: Alexa, who’s your daddy and what does he do?)

Alexa, why did the chicken cross the road?
Alexa, why do you exist?
Alexa, why do you sit there like that?
Alexa, why do birds suddenly appear?
Alexa, why is a raven like a writing desk?
Alexa, why is the sky blue
Alexa, why is six afraid of seven?
Alexa, why so serious?

Alexa, Wikipedia: (say your topic)

Alexa, will pigs fly?
Alexa, will you be my girlfriend?
Alexa, will you marry me?

Alexa, winter is coming
Alexa, witness me
Alexa, would you like a chocolate bunny?
Alexa, would you like a drink?

- X -

Alexa, X-Men characters.

- Y -

Alexa, ya feel me?
Alexa, you complete me.
Alexa, you don't need to see his identification.
Alexa, you have a pretty voice.
Alexa, you hurt me
Alexa, you killed my father
Alexa, you make me laugh
Alexa, you rock
Alexa, you suck! (multiple)
Alexa, you talkin' to me?
Alexa, you’re fat
Alexa, you’re funny
Alexa, you’re so intelligent.
Alexa, you're such a/an ***** (any colorfully descriptive word)
Alexa, you’re wonderful
Alexa, your mother was a hamster

- Z -

Alexa, zero divided by zero.

Holiday Greetings

Alexa, Merry Christmas
Alexa, Happy Christmas
Alexa, Happy Easter
Alexa, Happy Father's Day
Alexa, Happy Fourth of July
Alexa, Happy Halloween
Alexa, Happy Hanukkah
Alexa, Happy Holidays
Alexa, Happy Kwanzaa
Alexa, Happy Mother's Day
Alexa, Happy New Year
Alexa, Happy Ramadan
Alexa, Happy St. Patrick's Day
Alexa, Happy Thanksgiving
Alexa, Happy Valentine's Day

Also for the holidays:
Alexa, what are your grievances (Festivus related)
Alexa, what do you want for Christmas?
Alexa, what do you want for your birthday?
Alexa, tell me a (say "holiday" or the specific holiday name) joke, riddle or haiku.

How to make a Japanese Rolled Omelet

It's time for another how-to post here, and this time it's a Japanese-style omelet.

But of course, I gave it a twist. In this case a Mexican twist. If you want to find the ingredients for a traditional Japanese omelet, you'll find plenty of recipes online. If you want to have some fun with rolled omelets, this it's pretty easy. And fun.

I found that three large eggs was about the right size for my purposes and my pan, but you could make yours larger or smaller, depending on what you like. I added a tablespoon of a green salsa to my three beaten eggs, to add a little flavor.

Heat the omelet pan on medium or medium-low heat. If the pan is nonstick, you probably won't need any butter or oil.

Have the beaten eggs standing by. Having them in a measuring cup is handy, for pouring. I also had some grated cheese that I used for a filling.

Pour in a small amount of egg. Just enough to coat the bottom of the pan with a thin layer, like a crepe. Left the pan and move it to let the egg coat the entire bottom of the pan, then return it to the heat. I added just a little bit of cheese on top of the egg.

Cook on medium or medium low so the egg cooks but doesn't brown. If there's excess egg in the pan, you can lift the edges of the omelet and let the liquid egg pour underneath so it all gets cooked through. It's fine if it's a little soft and custardy, but you don't want we egg squishing out when you roll.

When the egg is set and the cheese is melting, start at the curved end of the pan and use a thin spatula to begin to roll the egg, like a jelly-roll sort of thing. Keep rolling until you reach the opposite end.

It's fine if the first roll or two are a little ragged looking. When you reach the opposite end, slide the roll back to the curved end of the pan. Add another thin layer of egg and lift the pan to coat the bottom as you did before. Lift the roll to make sure the egg gets under there as well.

As before, I added a little more cheese.

Roll as you did before. Slide the roll back to the rounded end of the pan.

Continue adding thin layers of egg and rolling until you have no more egg left. Remove the omelet from the pan and slice to serve.

When I've made these without cheese, the slices were more round, but the filled ones don't roll quite as tight, so they're a little more oval when they're sliced.

Once you've made a few of these, I'm sure you'll think of plenty of things to fill the omelet with, and lots of fun things to add to the egg. Yes, it's a Japanese omelet shape. But you can certainly make it your own with any flavors you like.

You can certainly use a regular saute pan to make rolled omelets, but they'll be fatter in the center and thin and floppy on the ends. So they won't be as pretty, but you can still do it. If you want a pretty, even roll, then a square or rectangular traditional Japanese Tamagoyaki pan is what you need.

The pan used in this post was supplied to me at no cost.

Last-Minute "Wrapping"

So, imagine that you're about to head out the door to an open house, housewarming, holiday cocktail party, or ... whatever.

You've picked up a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black for your hosts. The only gift bags left are the ones that look like they're for a toddler. You have scraps of wrapping paper. You're not about to go buy more wrapping paper now. No way.

But you don't want to hand your hosts a nice bottle in a brown paper bag.

So you get crafty.

This requires one box of any size the bottle will fit into with the neck sticking out (it forms the chimney). Just cut the two smaller flaps to form the triangular front and back pointy parts of the house (the peaks? is that what they're called?)

Then put the bottle in the box along with some packing material to hold it in place. Or more gifts. Cookies are nice. Then fold the other two box flaps and tape or glue them to the triangular front and back.

You'll have a hole in middle of that top portion, unless your box had weird long flaps. Use an extra piece of cardboard or even some aluminum foil to form that last piece you need. This is just "wrapping" so it doesn't need to withstand hurricane-force winds.

Find some white tissue paper or some baking parchment to form a snowy roof. I crumpled mine and then cut the edges into spikes to form icicles. Wavy cuts would be fine. It's not fine art.

Attach the paper the to roof, and you're good to go.

Or, if you like, you can decorate the house. Write things on it. Draw a door and some windows. Add some lights on a string, a wreath, or a Christmas tree.

Or draw stick figures of the family you're visiting.

Or write random holiday greetings in multiple languages all over the box.

Or have everyone in your household write their own message. Or ... whatever is fun and easy for you.

Then go to your party.

Seriously, if you're artistic and you've got loads of time, you could paint the box in all sorts of fancy ways. But if you're on the way out the door, this is clever and different and easy and if you don't want to decorate, just tape the box together, put that roof on, and run out the door.

Have a great holiday!

The nice folks at Johnnie Walker recently sent me a bottle. So I stuck it in a box. I'm crafty like that.

How to use a French Fry Cutter

I've been playing around with a French fry cutter from Harold Import Company lately, and I've got a few tips that will make the job a lot easier for you.

First, make sure the cutter is assembled properly. There's a latch that holds the cutting part in place as well as a latch that holds the pusher in place. Those need to meet up properly or the pusher won't push the potato far enough through the blades.

Once it's assembled and latched, you're good to go. But don't be like me and forget to latch the cutting blade in place. Oopsie.

Second, square off your potatoes. This is the single most important thing do do for easier cutting. You don't need square off all the sides, but it's important that the bottom (the part that will be sliding along on the base of the cutter) and the two ends (first and last bits through the blade) are fairly well squared off.

You don't need to cut a lot off the potato, and you can certainly hand-cut those excesss pieces so you can cook them (they'd be oddly-shaped, even if you did cut them with the cutter), but if you don't have the potato squared off, it will tend to feed through the cutter at an angle, and then it becomes difficult to push the potato through the blades as it binds up.

However, if you potato is square, it slides through MUCH easier. It also helps if the potato is centered in the cutting blade and pusher, so the pusher is pushing evenly. If that makes sense. So somewhat larger potatoes tend to work better than small ones that are only contacting the bottom part of the pusher.

You might have seen the heavy-duty industrial fry cutters that are made from cast iron and are meant for hundreds of potatoes a day. That's not what we're talking about here. This cutter is a home-kitchen gadget. It works well, if you don't abuse it. But you're not going to be able to barrel through 50 pounds of potatoes a day.

Besides cutting potatoes, you should be able to cut other vegetables of a similar density (apples, maybe? Although I'm not sure why you want apple sticks).

I've read that even the more affordable industrial cutters aren't meant for cutting sweet potatoes because they're too hard, but I did cut purple sweet potatoes with this unit. Maybe purple sweet potatoes aren't as hard as red ones. But maybe it's better not to test fate. If you break yours from cutting something you shouldn't, don't blame me.

You can see some other fries I cut in this post.

I wasn't supposed to do this. But I did.

The cutter comes with two different blades and two different pushers for different-sized fry cuts.

Who's it for: People who don't want to bother hand-cutting fries.

Pros: Easy to come apart and clean. Not crazy expensive. Two different cutters. Small enough so it doesn't take a lot of storage space. Lightweight. Has a suction base to hold it to the counter.

Cons: This isn't as sturdy as the ones you see in restaurants, so you can't abuse it too much.

Wishes: I wish it was just a little bit longer, so it could accommodate bigger potatoes. Sometimes I encounter giant ones.

Source: I received this from the manufacturer for the purpose of a review.

How to make BITTEN cookies

Wanna piece of my heart?

For the longest time, I thought that it would be super-cool if someone would make cookie cutters in the shape of teeth.Not, like a single tooth. I guess I'm thinking more of a mouth. Or really, a bite.

Because I thought it would be funny if I could make cookies and then cut out bite-shaped marks, so it would look like someone nibbled at them.

Of course this would only work with rollout cookies, because those are the ones that would hold their shape. Peanut butter cookies or chocolate cookies might spread too much, and lose the bite effect.

Except ... hmmmm ... in theory, bites could be cut out of baked-but-not-yet-hardened cookies. I haven't tried that yet, but it's certainly on the agenda.

I thought it would be particularly funny with things like gingerbread men, but for other cookies, too.

I really, really really wanted someone to make that cutter for me.

And then I found it.

No, not online. Not in a store. In my baking supplies.

Yes, I already had the perfect cutter for taking bites out of cookies. No, not my teeth.

Biscuit cutters.

Specifically, fluted (or wavy) biscuit cutters. They're absolutely perfect for making bite-shaped cutouts on cookies.

Is this something you're going to do every time you bake cookies? Not necessarily. Or maybe.

Chomp. Chomp-chomp.

It's not something you have to commit to. You can take a bite out of just one or two cookies from each batch.

As far as the how-to, use a smaller biscuit cutter than you think you need - you're going to want to show enough of the curve, and at least four of the scallops that represent the teeth - and if you can manage to show parts of two more "teeth," that's great.

For the fun of it, I used a small knife to add some pointy teeth to represent vampire teeth.

After I thought about it, I realized that a fanged-tooth bite wouldn't look quite like this. But I thought it was fun, anyway.

Vampire bite!!!

And ... that's it! Bitten cookies!

For the cookie recipe, see THIS post.

How to season a cast iron pan

These instructions are for seasoning a cast iron grill pan, which is slightly more challenging because of the grooves. But, really, it's the same method for seasoning pretty much any piece of raw cast iron cookware.

Some cast iron comes pre-seasoned, and some has an oil coating that keeps it from rusting while it's waiting to be purchased.

No matter what kind of cast iron you have (except enameled or coated, which doesn't need seasoning) I suggest that you start your process by washing the pan first with hot, soapy water, drying it quickly, and coating it immediately with your choice of seasoning oil

I've tried a number of different oils for seasonings, and most of them are fine. I don't suggest extra virgin olive oil because it has a low smoke point. I don't like canola oil, because it tends to get gummy. Vegetable oil, peanut oil, grapeseed oil, or a solid fat like vegetable shortening works fine.

Use any oil you like. Really. It's not a deal-breaker. For this pan, I used Crisco.

Start by melting some Crisco in the pan (or pouring in a little of your liquid oil, if that's what you're using) and brushing it all over the inside. You want a very thin coating, not puddles. Let it heat until it's smoky hot, then put it into an oven set at 450 degrees. Brush oil on the outside of the pan as well. You can leave the pan right-side up, but I recommend baking it upside-down. The advantage of baking upside-down is that you won't have puddles of oil accumulating in the pan, and it will season more evenly. Bake for an hour at 450 degrees.

Note: it's a good idea to have something under the pan to catch any drippy oil, or you're going to hate me. A sheet of aluminum foil on the rack below the rack the pan is on will be just fine. I have an oven liner that sits on the bottom rack of my oven, so I just put the pan in the oven and let it rip.

Yes, it gets smoky, but it's not terrible if you don't open the oven to peek. Turn your stove hood on or have a window open. After an hour or so - it's not an exact thing, a little longer isn't going to hurt anything - turn off the oven and let the pan cool. You can leave it until the next day, if you don't need the oven for anything else.

Keep in mind that cast iron retains heat. An hour after you turn the oven off, you'll still need mitts to handle it. You don't need to leave it in the oven until it's completely cool - you can remove it from the oven and let it cool anywhere that's convenient.

DON'T be tempted to speed the cooling by dousing the hot pan in cold water. A cast iron pan is nearly indestructible, but there can be imperfections in the metal because of the way the molten metal is poured - like you see veins and layers in rock. Thermal shock can cause a cast iron pan to crack along one of those lines. And it will make a loud noise that will scare the the heck out of you. Don't ask how I know this, mkay?

When the pan is cool, scrub it with hot water and kosher salt to remove any oil residue. Don't use soap.

The grill pan you see above, when I first got it, was a silvery-black color and if you ran your finger across the ridges, you could feel sandpaper-y sharp(ish) bumps. This is completely normal. It's what happens when a pan is cast rather than spun, molded, pressed, or stamped. Can you tell I used to work in a metal-related industry?

The great thing about cast iron pans is that they're relatively inexpensive, nearly indestructible, and once they're well-seasoned, they're pretty much non-stick. I have another grill pan that's got an enamel coating, , but it's not nearly as non-stick as this one is, and I've only seasoned this one a few times - it will get even better with age and use.

You can use your pan after the first seasoning, if you like, but I usually season two or three times before I use the pan for cooking, unless I'm planning on cooking super-fatty foods in it right away. Like bacon. Or shallow-frying some chicken. Which I wouldn't be doing in a grill pan. So I seasoned it again.

After the first seasoning of this grill pan, it was a brownish black rather than silver-black. If you looked at it by itself, you might say it was black. But next to a well-seasoned pan, it was definitely a little brown. The surface was a little slicker and smoother than before.

I seasoned it one more time, brushing on a thin coating of vegetable oil. Like I said, it really doesn't matter what oil you use, as long as it's edible.

Again, it went into the oven upside-down for an hour at 450 degrees. I let it sit in the oven until it cooled, and scrubbed it with a little kosher salt again - I find this is the best way to clean any kind of cast iron pan.

The pan was slightly darker, and if you brushed your finger on the ridges, it was smoother. At this point, the pan felt like it had an enamel coating on it. There were still bumps, but the sharp-feeling sandpapery points were gone. The pan didn't feel greasy or sticky - just smooth. And drops of water beaded up on the surface. That's what we're looking for.

At this point, I deemed it ready for cooking, so I grilled some burgers. Nothing stuck to the pan, even when one of the burgers had a slight cheese-oozing problem. Mission accomplished.

But just for the heck of it, I gave it one more oil-and-bake in a 450 degree oven. And NOW the pan is just about as black as my other cast iron pans.

Maintenance

Once your pan is well-seasoned, you don't need to do much to it, particularly if you're using oil to cook your food, or if the food itself is fatty (like bacon). Just wash with hot water and scrub with a brush or sponge with bit of kosher salt.

If the pan is new and the seasoning is a bit thin, you can brush it with a little oil after washing and heat it on the stove until it's hot. Then let it cool and wipe the oil residue out with a paper towel.

When the seasoning is well established, just wash the pan with hot water and scrub with salt if it needs it, and make sure it's completely dry before you store it. But even with my well-seasoned pans, I sometimes give them a little oil-and-heat before storing, just to make sure I'm not losing any seasoning.

If the seasoning on your cast iron pan ever gets damaged (although I'm not sure how you'd do that) you can remove the coating by putting the pan into your oven while it's self cleaning. Or in your grill, maybe, if it gets hot enough. I've heard of doing that, but haven't tried it. This will burn off all the seasoning, and you'll need to start from scratch again, working quickly because once the coating is completely gone, the pan will want to rust. So at least get a coat of oil on it.

The only reason I can think of where I'd remove good-looking seasoning from a pan is if I bought one from a flea market or garage sale and I was concerned about what might have been cooked in the pan or what it was seasoned with. Burning off the seasoning in the pan would remove all traces of the old owner, which could be a good thing.

If you inherit a nicely seasoned cast iron pan from grandma, and she's not prone to cooking with motor oil, then there's probably no reason to ruin decades of hard-earned seasoning.

How to Use a Cavatelli Maker

Making home made pasta is fun, but if you want to move beyond flat ribbons, you might need a few bits of equipment to make the job easier. Fante's Cousin Elisa's Cavatelli Maker from Harold Import Company ($32.37) is my latest in the arsenal of too many pasta gadgets, and it's kind of fun to use.

Once the pasta dough is made, you cut it into ribbons, feed it into the cavatelli maker, and crank out the cavatelli.

It's not quite as easy as that, though, through no fault of the machine. For the cavatelli maker to churn out cavatelli shaped pasta, the dough has to be the right consistency, the ribbons need to be the right width and thickness, and the cranking speed needs to be right.

If the dough is too soft, it will stick in the cavatelli maker, no matter how much you flour the outside. If the dough is too dense, it won't curl as well into the proper shape. When it comes to making the ribbons, I eyeballed the first batch and had mediocre results. I measured the second batch and found out that my eyeballed ribbons were way too wide and not nearly thick enough. Later batches worked much better.

You can find the recipe I made here.

After some kneading to get it smooth, I rolled the dough to about 3/8-inch thick and then I cut it into strips about 3/4 inch wide. Because of the gluten in the dough, it tended to shrink width-wise while getting a little thicker. So, you can cut to those dimensions and flatten the ribbons a bit before feeding them through the cavatelli maker, or roll about 1/4 inch thick and cut them slightly wider. The optimum width is 1/2 to 3/4 inches, so having them shrink a little is fine - but I wanted my cavatelli to be larger rather than smaller.

I found that cranking quickly worked best when I first fed the dough through the cavatelli maker, but when I re-rolled the scraps and the dough had more flour incorporated into it, I needed to crank just a little bit slower to get the correct shapes. It's easy enough to look at the results and adjust the speed.

While it's fun to pile them up and watch the mountain of pasta grow, it's best if you keep them dusted with flour and as separate as possible, unless you want the fun of trying to separate stuck pasta, or starting over with re-rolling them.

For every dough ribbon I fed through the cavatelli maker, I had a few that didn't shape correctly, usually at the beginning or end of the ribbon, but since I wasn't making them for professional sale, it didn't matter that I had a few that were flat or odd-looking. If you're after perfect presentation, you can pick out the mutants and add them to the pasta scraps that remained from cutting the ribbons and give them another run through the cavatelli maker.

The cavatelli can be cooked immediately, or you can let them dry a bit before cooking, or freeze them for later use. If you're not going to be cooking them right away, dust them with flour. If you can spread them out on a baking sheet, that's best - it keeps them from sticking together.

Give them a little shake now and then to make sure that they're not gluing themselves together where they're touching.

Cook the finished cavatelli just like any other pasta - in boiling salted water until they're done to your liking. Fresh pasta cooks faster than dry, but keep in mind that these are thicker than your basic spaghetti or linguine.

It's best if you don't add the cavatelli to the water in one big pile - send them into the water gently, or you could end up with one large clump of stuck pasta. They're less likely to stick if they're frozen or if you've set them out to dry a bit, but its still best to add them slowly. Then stir. And stir again later. Fresh pasta is sticky, and you don't want it sticking to the bottom of the pot, either.

And there you have it. Home made pasta, all ready for sauce. Or, if you prefer, cook them in boiling water, then toss them in a pan with some brown butter. Maybe with some sage or thyme.

Quick Review

Who's it for: People who often make home made pasta and want to make specialty shapes.

Pros: So far, it seems to be sturdy and well-made. I was happy with the pasta I made with it, and it was really fast.

Cons: There's a bit of a learning curve, particularly if someone hasn't made pasta dough before. Also, like many pasta makers, this can't be washed in water, so if that squicks you out, you might want to stick with buying boxed pasta.

Source: I received this at no cost from Harold Import Company. Want more info? Check here.